Life is ....

Life sounds very random to me, but sometimes it is not ...

So far my life has been segmented into multiple pieces, I lived here and there for a few years, also got a bunch friends here and there, but no one really lasts (or maybe there are still a few, but not that many), some occasionally call, some never see each other again, some I have been totally forget ...

This puts some insecure in my deep mind, or so called "looks warm-hearted but actually a cold-blooded creature". I'd like to be close to a few people that I really like, but when it comes to too close, I will bounce back and keep distance again, that makes me feel safe. Sometimes it's funny in thinking that: at this particular moment, this friend is so important to me, but sooner or later, we might go back to strangers again, then why should I care so much now?

Trust others in deep is quite hard for me. I lived on my own since 11 years old, I don't have much sweet memories from families, even I know they do love me, not many hugs, not much care, just not as what a usual kid will get. But it's unfair to say that maybe, whatever.